my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
Omg lol wtf!
my math final is about to begin and half the people in my class are praying to god and the other half are making deals with satan
can someone translate this i dont know british
I’ll do my best
*ahem* AY YO MA
You cant forget the Incredibles!
This movie is literally the best
I don’t give a damn about my reputation [LOUD GUITAR]
You’re living in the past it’s a new generation
[SHREK ATTACKS THE KNIGHTS AT LORD FARQUAD’S CASTLE]
And if something tries to bust in…?
Let’s say John taught him wrong.
But Dean is teaching well:
DON’T COME HERE WITH YOUR PERFECT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT GO AWAY
HE SAID THAT’S MY MAN NOT THAT’S MY BOY
YOU MADE IT WORSE NO PLEASE STOP
Why was Hitler hit with a baseball?
because he was a fucking racist, sexist and homophobic nationalistic douchebag
no because he did nazi it coming
was i the only one who read that in sam’s voice?
nope! =) I totally did too!
THE SAD MOMENT WHEN YOU GROW UP AND CATCH UP WITH THE AGE OF FICTIONAL CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T AGE
THAT SADDEST MOMENT WHEN YOU PASS THEM.
At least I’ll never catch up to the Doctor
There has never been a more inspirational message than this post